Using This Ramadan as a Stepping Stone

Ramadan is a time where we all try to ramp up our religious activities and work hard to get closer to Allah (SWT). Increasing the amount of Quran we read, praying extra sunnah prayers, going to Taraweeh at night, or simply working on controlling what we say are some ways we strive for that closeness. In Ramadan we often find it is easier to do acts of Ibadah that are normally difficult outside of this blessed month. Standing long nights in prayer, fasting long hours of the day, and sacrificing energy and sleep are some examples of this. Once Ramadan is over, we often miss the sweetness of those moments spent in worship and obedience.

The question is, how do we continue to feel this spiritual closeness we find in Ramadan? I once heard a scholar who said that we should strive to start each subsequent Ramadan at a higher spiritual level than the previous one. So, how do we make sure we are getting better for next Ramadan, and not starting back at level zero?

Here are some ideas for how to progress between Ramadans:

1. Start small: “The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are most consistent, even if they are small.” (Bukhari). Set small but meaningful goals that you can strive to sustain throughout the year. Do something that seems achievable for you at the level you are at. Are you still struggling to pray all your Fard? If so, maybe your goal could be to prioritize one of those prayers. If you’re already praying all your obligatory prayers, you could add in a sunnah or make it a goal to pray at the masjid with the congregation once a month. Though the deed may be minimal in terms of effort or time, we are promised that it will be heavy on our scales. What’s important is that you just find a small and achievable way to improve yourself from where you currently are.

2. Progress, not perfection: Once you’ve committed to your small habit you are trying to build, try to accomplish it with consistency, keeping in mind that you are human and that you will falter. If you miss your habit, once, twice, three times or more, remember that you can always come back to it. The only one stopping you is yourself. Being a perfectionist myself, I know it’s difficult, but try not to let the aim of perfection halt your progress. Imam Al- Ghazali in his Book of Repentance, says that in making mistakes, we demonstrate our hereditary connection to Adam (A) and that to emulate him perfectly, we should also ask forgiveness. To err is human, and to be able to rise after the fall is the epitome of our humanity. So don’t let faltering in your goals stop you from achieving them at all!

3. Accountability buddy: Oftentimes habits that we build with friends are easier to develop because we have someone to hold us accountable. Find someone who won't judge you but will also not let you off the hook for being lazy. If your goal is to pray all five of your daily prayers, for example, find a friend who is looking to do the same thing. This way, you can check in and remind each other regularly as you’re working on building the same habit. Finding someone who will be willing to work with you will be a lot easier if you, yourself, can work on being a good accountability buddy. Make sure, even if you are joking with your friend, that you don’t put them down or inadvertently make them feel bad about their effort. This will help both you and your friend to accomplish your own goals and maybe even get good deeds for helping each other!

4. Sign up for a class: If there is a subject or skill you feel you are lacking in, find a resource to help you. Internet resources are vast and it is easy to find a video, article, or even short class that could help you deepen your understanding in a topic of interest. Whether that is knowing what to say while you're praying or how to read the Quran with more fluency. Try to find a place of growth for yourself so that, come next Ramadan, you have a new angle to approach it from.

At the end of the day, we are told in no unclear terms in the Quran, that fasting was prescribed for us as a means of attaining God-consciousness. If we take the steps we each individually need to promote this growth in our lives, we will be using our time in preparation for the opportunity of continued growth towards this means.